Choosing a Certified Mediator in North Carolina: What to Look For
From the Perspective of a Certified Family Financial Mediator
When attorneys and their clients begin the process of Family Financial Mediation, the first decision isn’t procedural - it’s personal. Choosing the right mediator can make or break the session. Mediation isn’t about luck; it’s about preparation, structure, and the presence of a skilled neutral who can guide the parties toward resolution with clarity, balance, and professionalism.
At GHMA | LAW, our mediators are not only certified but are also Board Certified Specialists in Family Law, a distinction that reflects the highest level of legal knowledge and peer recognition in North Carolina.
So, what should you look for when selecting a mediator for your divorce, support, or property division case?
Not All Neutrals Are Created Equal
Mediators in North Carolina come from a variety of professional backgrounds. While all certified Family Financial Mediators meet minimum training requirements and are approved by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission (NCDRC), there’s a wide range of experience, skill, and legal acumen among practitioners.
For complex family law matters, especially those involving asset division, business interests, or ongoing support, it’s critical to choose a mediator who brings more than neutrality to the table. You want a mediator who understands the law, the process, and the human dynamics of family litigation.
What to Look For
Legal Experience in Family Law
A mediator with an active family law practice or primary background in divorce brings invaluable insight into what courts are likely to do with unresolved issues. This helps parties frame their negotiations in the context of legal reality, not emotion or guesswork.
Board Certification
In North Carolina, Board Certification by the State Bar indicates that an attorney has been tested, reviewed by peers, and approved as a specialist in a particular area of law. At GHMA | LAW, both Patrick McCroskey and Janet Amburgey are Board Certified Specialists in Family Law and certified mediators.
Communication Style and Structure
Great mediators are clear, focused, and flexible. They know when to push, when to slow down, and how to adapt the structure of mediation to fit the needs of both attorneys and clients. Ask your attorney about the mediator’s style and whether they are known for helping cases actually settle, not just check a procedural box.
Consistent, Ethical Neutrality
A mediator is not there to judge, scold, or steer decisions based on personal values. You should expect complete neutrality, confidentiality, and professionalism from the moment the session begins to the moment the agreement is signed.
Mediation Services at GHMA | LAW
Whether you're here at the suggestion of your attorney or independently seeking to understand how family law mediation works, the resources on our website are designed to provide clarity, not confusion. At GHMA | LAW, our certified Family Financial Mediators work with parties who are represented by counsel to resolve divorce-related disputes through structured, confidential negotiation.
While our mediators do not typically conduct sessions where one or both parties are unrepresented, we recognize that many individuals research mediation as a potential alternative to litigation. These resources are here to help you better understand how mediated agreements are reached. When divorcing individuals are prepared and supported by legal counsel, mediation often provides a more focused, respectful, and less adversarial path forward.
As Board Certified Specialists in Family Law and Certified Family Financial Mediators, we provide not only dispute resolution but also clarity, structure, and an environment that honors the emotional weight of this transition. We offer these materials to help you understand the mediation process from both a practical and human perspective. If you have additional questions, we encourage you to speak with your attorney or reach out to us for more information.
Key Takeaways
- Choosing the right mediator is critical to a successful outcome in Family Financial Mediation.
- Look for Board Certification, relevant family law experience, a strong reputation for neutrality, and an adaptable communication style.
- GHMA | LAW offers highly credentialed, deeply experienced mediators for attorney-referred family law matters.
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Common Questions & Concerns
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In a domestic dispute, negative emotions such as hostility, anger, and revenge can needlessly delay a resolution and increase the cost. Perspective and objectivity, on the other hand, can promote a conclusion and reduce the cost.
Many factors may be involved in the breakup of your marriage, and you may feel indignation, anger and resentment toward your spouse. You may want to punish your spouse by making the process difficult and time-consuming. This type of thinking usually results in a no-win situation for everyone concerned.
Often, a potential client visits an attorney to discuss divorce, although they have not yet made the decision to take the big step. First, they want to know their options. Attorneys typically encourage them to explore alternatives, and often suggest how to protect themselves and meet their needs, short of divorce.
If your attorney raises the issue of reconciliation, he is not questioning or judging your decision. But, it is clarifying and confirming that you know your options, and that you want a divorce.
The mediator’s role is to move the parties beyond personality clashes and historic grievances. Only then, can the mediator help you improve communication so any future dealings can take place without repeating the difficulties of the past. Mediation is a useful tool because it adds a new dimension to the negotiations. Because the mediator’s purpose is to help guide you to find solutions that you can both agree to, he/she does not have the power to decide your case, or in any other way, act as a judge nor does he/she have a fixed result in mind to urge you toward.
As you begin the divorce process, the first order of business is to review your will. If you do not have one, get one immediately. Succession laws may conflict with your wishes.
You may choose to consult David Hillier, of this law firm, regarding your will, as well as any financial concerns and considerations you may have.
Generally speaking, it is impossible to predict exactly how long the case will take. After the case is under way, and your attorney understands the issues, he will be better able to gauge the duration. How long it will take depends on the following factors:
- The number and complexity of contested issues;
- The attitudes of each of the parties, their attorneys, and their inclination to settle;
Mediation is a process in which two or more people involved in a dispute come together voluntarily to try to develop a solution to their problem with the help of a neutral third person (or persons), called the mediator. Unlike a judge or an arbitrator, the mediator does not take sides or make decisions. The mediator, usually trained in conflict resolution, is there to help the disputants evaluate their goals and options in order to formulate their own solution. To achieve the fairest results possible, you both take an active part in your divorce and turn what could be a battle for control into a search for mutually beneficial solutions.
Mediation can take place over a series of sessions. But, more often than not, it is scheduled for a continuous amount of time to keep the negotiations going. Sessions are generally held in the privacy of the mediator’s office or an attorney’s office, and begin with all involved signing an agreement that the negotiations will be kept confidential. At the end of a successful mediation, the mediator will prepare a Memorandum or writing expressing the agreements of the parties, at least on the issues which were resolved. Any formal agreement will be drafted by your or your spouse’s lawyer.
The mediator’s role is to move the parties beyond personality clashes and historic grievances. Only then, can the mediator help you improve communication so any future dealings can take place without repeating the difficulties of the past. Mediation is a useful tool because it adds a new dimension to the negotiations. Because the mediator’s purpose is to help guide you to find solutions that you can both agree to, he/she does not have the power to decide your case, or in any other way, act as a judge nor does he/she have a fixed result in mind to urge you toward.
Mediators can increase the likelihood of a negotiated settlement by bringing the skills, creativity, and influence of trained, impartial third parties to bear on the problem. Perhaps more importantly, frequently mediation can save time and money.
Mediation keeps your options open and reduces issues of conflict. Although most who undertake mediation have a successful conclusion, some do not. If mediation doesn’t work, you can still sue and go to court or engage in arbitration.
Domestic disputes are emotionally charged. Clients are encouraged to seek counseling before and during the process. Counseling can help clients to work through their pain, accept the marriage’s end, learn coping skills, and pick up the pieces of their lives and go forward.
Don’t wait for your spouse to agree to participate. Individual counseling can help. Often, children and parents attend counseling together to alleviate the effects of a divorce or custody dispute on the children, and to help the family heal emotionally.
Litigation often spawns more litigation. To determine whether certain issues are worth litigating, you must weigh the price you will pay with your time, emotions, and money, against the anticipated outcome and its benefit to you. Again, your attorney will advise you on these matters.
Dating prior to the final divorce: Don’t, unless your attorney has specifically advised you that it is okay.
Attorneys who specialize in Divorce and Family Law will probably try many cases against each other over the years. They will attend the same professional events and, may even work on committees together. Camaraderie develops naturally over the years. Just because your attorney and your spouse’s attorney exchange pleasantries, share a joke, or have lunch together, does not mean that they are being disloyal to their clients. Your attorney is professionally committed to the best result for you given the facts of your case and the law. Being rude, hostile, or mean to opposing counsel does nothing to further your case and generally harms your case rather than helping.
All too often, the client has the attitude that a lawyer who is a “fighter” is a lawyer who refuses to cooperate with opposing counsel, makes demands and gets instant results, goes to court at the drop of a hat, and plays Perry Mason in court. This notion is sadly misguided.
The time to fight may be during tough negotiations or in court. But, not cooperating on routine matters accomplishes only greatly increased attorney fees because it requires both attorneys to do everything the hard way. Cooperation by the attorneys, as well as the parties, particularly during the discovery phase, is always in the best interest of the client.
Social Media is a new facet of communication today. We understand that everyone participates in social media to some degree. When you are involved in divorce proceedings or any type of litigation for that matter, a good general practice is to avoid discussing any element of your case, or your spouse, in any social media forum. All social media is discoverable, and it never goes away. If you are considering divorce or litigation, be very careful what you say in online forums, including email attached to social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, and MySpace.
Just as it is impossible to predict exactly how long your case will take, it is difficult to realistically estimate the total cost of your litigation, even when your attorney knows the issues that will be contested and the strength of the parties’ feelings. If you and/or your spouse have completely lost trust in one another, want complete discovery on all issues, and desire to argue many issues to the bitter end, the process will be long, drawn-out and expensive. read more >>>
