Preparing for Mediation: What Parties Should Know
From the Perspective of a Certified Family Financial Mediator
Mediation isn’t just a meeting, it’s a process that begins long before the parties walk into the room. At GHMA | LAW, we’ve seen firsthand how preparation directly affects outcomes. Clients who arrive informed, organized, and emotionally steady are far more likely to reach meaningful, enforceable agreements.
Whether you're attending Family Financial Mediation for equitable distribution, spousal support, or other divorce-related issues, this guide will help you understand what to expect and how to prepare.
Why Preparation Matters
Mediation is a confidential, structured negotiation where both parties, with the help of their attorneys and a certified neutral mediator, attempt to settle their legal disputes outside of court. The better prepared you are, the more control you’ll have over the process and its outcome.
Unlike trial, where a judge imposes a decision, mediation depends on your ability to participate meaningfully and make informed decisions. That starts with preparation, which can be legal, financial, and emotional.
What to Do Before Mediation
1. Review Your Legal Position with Your Attorney
Before the mediation session, you should have a firm grasp of what’s at issue: what you’re asking for, what you’re willing to compromise on, and what a likely court outcome might look like. Your attorney will help you weigh the costs and benefits of settlement versus trial.
2. Organize Your Financial Information
Your attorney will help prepare a list of marital assets and debts — this is critical in equitable distribution cases. You should also be ready to discuss:
- Bank accounts, retirement and investment accounts
- Real estate and mortgage obligations
- Business valuations (if applicable)
- Vehicle loans and credit card debts
- Income, expenses, and tax considerations
3. Prepare Emotionally
Mediation is not therapy, but it does involve emotionally charged conversations. Expect some tension — and trust the process. Your mediator is trained to keep things respectful and productive.
4. Think Strategically, Not Vindictively
You’re not trying to “win” mediation but instead working towards resolution that allows you to move forward. Focus on long-term solutions, not short-term victories.
What to Expect During the Session
Most family mediations are scheduled for a full day. They may take place in person or virtually and often involve both joint sessions and private caucuses (where each party speaks separately with the mediator).
Your attorney will be present throughout, advising you and helping shape proposals. The mediator will facilitate negotiation, offer neutral feedback, and help reality-test settlement options.
The goal: reach a signed agreement that resolves the issues and avoids trial.
Mediation Services at GHMA | LAW
Whether you're here at the suggestion of your attorney or independently seeking to understand how family law mediation works, the resources on our website are designed to provide clarity, not confusion. At GHMA | LAW, our certified Family Financial Mediators work with parties who are represented by counsel to resolve divorce-related disputes through structured, confidential negotiation.
While our mediators do not typically conduct sessions where one or both parties are unrepresented, we recognize that many individuals research mediation as a potential alternative to litigation. These resources are here to help you better understand how mediated agreements are reached. When divorcing individuals are prepared and supported by legal counsel, mediation often provides a more focused, respectful, and less adversarial path forward.
As Board Certified Specialists in Family Law and Certified Family Financial Mediators, we provide not only dispute resolution, but also clarity, structure, and an environment that honors the emotional weight of this transition. We offer these materials to help you understand the mediation process from both a practical and human perspective. If you have additional questions, we encourage you to speak with your attorney or reach out to us for more information.
Key Takeaways
- Strong preparation improves mediation outcomes — legally, financially, and emotionally.
- Work closely with your attorney to understand your position and prepare documentation.
- Focus on resolution and future stability, not confrontation.
- GHMA | LAW offers structured, effective mediation for represented clients navigating separation and divorce.
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Common Questions & Concerns
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In a domestic dispute, negative emotions such as hostility, anger, and revenge can needlessly delay a resolution and increase the cost. Perspective and objectivity, on the other hand, can promote a conclusion and reduce the cost.
Many factors may be involved in the breakup of your marriage, and you may feel indignation, anger and resentment toward your spouse. You may want to punish your spouse by making the process difficult and time-consuming. This type of thinking usually results in a no-win situation for everyone concerned.
Often, a potential client visits an attorney to discuss divorce, although they have not yet made the decision to take the big step. First, they want to know their options. Attorneys typically encourage them to explore alternatives, and often suggest how to protect themselves and meet their needs, short of divorce.
If your attorney raises the issue of reconciliation, he is not questioning or judging your decision. But, it is clarifying and confirming that you know your options, and that you want a divorce.
The mediator’s role is to move the parties beyond personality clashes and historic grievances. Only then, can the mediator help you improve communication so any future dealings can take place without repeating the difficulties of the past. Mediation is a useful tool because it adds a new dimension to the negotiations. Because the mediator’s purpose is to help guide you to find solutions that you can both agree to, he/she does not have the power to decide your case, or in any other way, act as a judge nor does he/she have a fixed result in mind to urge you toward.
As you begin the divorce process, the first order of business is to review your will. If you do not have one, get one immediately. Succession laws may conflict with your wishes.
You may choose to consult David Hillier, of this law firm, regarding your will, as well as any financial concerns and considerations you may have.
Generally speaking, it is impossible to predict exactly how long the case will take. After the case is under way, and your attorney understands the issues, he will be better able to gauge the duration. How long it will take depends on the following factors:
- The number and complexity of contested issues;
- The attitudes of each of the parties, their attorneys, and their inclination to settle;
Mediation is a process in which two or more people involved in a dispute come together voluntarily to try to develop a solution to their problem with the help of a neutral third person (or persons), called the mediator. Unlike a judge or an arbitrator, the mediator does not take sides or make decisions. The mediator, usually trained in conflict resolution, is there to help the disputants evaluate their goals and options in order to formulate their own solution. To achieve the fairest results possible, you both take an active part in your divorce and turn what could be a battle for control into a search for mutually beneficial solutions.
Mediation can take place over a series of sessions. But, more often than not, it is scheduled for a continuous amount of time to keep the negotiations going. Sessions are generally held in the privacy of the mediator’s office or an attorney’s office, and begin with all involved signing an agreement that the negotiations will be kept confidential. At the end of a successful mediation, the mediator will prepare a Memorandum or writing expressing the agreements of the parties, at least on the issues which were resolved. Any formal agreement will be drafted by your or your spouse’s lawyer.
The mediator’s role is to move the parties beyond personality clashes and historic grievances. Only then, can the mediator help you improve communication so any future dealings can take place without repeating the difficulties of the past. Mediation is a useful tool because it adds a new dimension to the negotiations. Because the mediator’s purpose is to help guide you to find solutions that you can both agree to, he/she does not have the power to decide your case, or in any other way, act as a judge nor does he/she have a fixed result in mind to urge you toward.
Mediators can increase the likelihood of a negotiated settlement by bringing the skills, creativity, and influence of trained, impartial third parties to bear on the problem. Perhaps more importantly, frequently mediation can save time and money.
Mediation keeps your options open and reduces issues of conflict. Although most who undertake mediation have a successful conclusion, some do not. If mediation doesn’t work, you can still sue and go to court or engage in arbitration.
Domestic disputes are emotionally charged. Clients are encouraged to seek counseling before and during the process. Counseling can help clients to work through their pain, accept the marriage’s end, learn coping skills, and pick up the pieces of their lives and go forward.
Don’t wait for your spouse to agree to participate. Individual counseling can help. Often, children and parents attend counseling together to alleviate the effects of a divorce or custody dispute on the children, and to help the family heal emotionally.
Litigation often spawns more litigation. To determine whether certain issues are worth litigating, you must weigh the price you will pay with your time, emotions, and money, against the anticipated outcome and its benefit to you. Again, your attorney will advise you on these matters.
Dating prior to the final divorce: Don’t, unless your attorney has specifically advised you that it is okay.
Attorneys who specialize in Divorce and Family Law will probably try many cases against each other over the years. They will attend the same professional events and, may even work on committees together. Camaraderie develops naturally over the years. Just because your attorney and your spouse’s attorney exchange pleasantries, share a joke, or have lunch together, does not mean that they are being disloyal to their clients. Your attorney is professionally committed to the best result for you given the facts of your case and the law. Being rude, hostile, or mean to opposing counsel does nothing to further your case and generally harms your case rather than helping.
All too often, the client has the attitude that a lawyer who is a “fighter” is a lawyer who refuses to cooperate with opposing counsel, makes demands and gets instant results, goes to court at the drop of a hat, and plays Perry Mason in court. This notion is sadly misguided.
The time to fight may be during tough negotiations or in court. But, not cooperating on routine matters accomplishes only greatly increased attorney fees because it requires both attorneys to do everything the hard way. Cooperation by the attorneys, as well as the parties, particularly during the discovery phase, is always in the best interest of the client.
Social Media is a new facet of communication today. We understand that everyone participates in social media to some degree. When you are involved in divorce proceedings or any type of litigation for that matter, a good general practice is to avoid discussing any element of your case, or your spouse, in any social media forum. All social media is discoverable, and it never goes away. If you are considering divorce or litigation, be very careful what you say in online forums, including email attached to social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, and MySpace.
Just as it is impossible to predict exactly how long your case will take, it is difficult to realistically estimate the total cost of your litigation, even when your attorney knows the issues that will be contested and the strength of the parties’ feelings. If you and/or your spouse have completely lost trust in one another, want complete discovery on all issues, and desire to argue many issues to the bitter end, the process will be long, drawn-out and expensive. read more >>>
