How the Mediation Process Works: A Step-by-Step Guide

From the Perspective of a Family Financial Mediator

Mediation is one of the most effective and widely used tools for resolving family law disputes in North Carolina — but for many clients, it’s also one of the least understood. As a Family Financial Mediator, I often work with parties who are stepping into this process for the first time. They’re unsure what to expect, how decisions will be made, or even where to begin.

This guide walks you through the typical steps in a family law mediation, from intake to agreement, so you’ll know what’s coming and how to prepare.

Step 1: Pre-Mediation Preparation

The process begins long before anyone enters the mediation room (virtual or otherwise). Parties typically work with their attorneys to identify issues in dispute, gather financial documentation, and prepare proposals. This stage may also include filing the required court documents and scheduling mediation through the appropriate channels.

If you're represented by an attorney, they’ll guide you through this prep. If not, the mediator may provide basic procedural direction but cannot give legal advice.

Step 2: Opening the Mediation Session

On the day of mediation, the session usually opens with a joint statement from the mediator. I explain my role, confirm the voluntary and confidential nature of the process, and lay out the ground rules. If it’s your first experience with mediation, this step helps reduce uncertainty and builds trust in the process.

Depending on the case, the mediation may begin in a joint session (both parties and their attorneys in the same room) or in private caucus (each party in separate rooms, with the mediator moving between them).

Step 3: Identifying Issues and Interests

This is where the real work begins. We focus on the key issues: equitable distribution of assets and debts, spousal support, and attorney fees. If custody or child support are on the table, we may address those, too, though often they are handled in a separate custody mediation.

Rather than just exchanging offers, I work with both parties to understand why each issue matters. What are the practical needs? Where is there flexibility? This approach helps open the door to durable, creative solutions.

Step 4: Negotiation and Option Development

As the mediator, I move between parties to clarify proposals, reality-check expectations, and help narrow the gap between positions. This may take several hours, sometimes longer. The goal is not just a middle-ground compromise, but a resolution that works legally, financially, and personally.

Because mediation is confidential, parties can speak freely about possible outcomes without fear that it will be used against them in court. This freedom often allows for more open, productive negotiation.

Step 5: Agreement and Drafting

When parties reach resolution on one or more issues, the mediator or attorneys will draft a written agreement, often called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) or a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA). This may be finalized and signed the same day, or reviewed and refined in the days following mediation.

Once signed, a mediated agreement becomes a legally enforceable contract and can be incorporated into a court order.

Mediation Services at GHMA|LAW

Whether you're here at the suggestion of your attorney or independently seeking to understand how family law mediation works, the resources on our website are designed to provide clarity, not confusion. At GHMA | LAW, our certified Family Financial Mediators work with parties who are represented by counsel to resolve divorce-related disputes through structured, confidential negotiation.

While our mediators do not typically conduct sessions where one or both parties are unrepresented, we recognize that many individuals research mediation as a potential alternative to litigation. These resources are here to help you better understand how mediated agreements are reached. When divorcing individuals are prepared and supported by legal counsel, mediation often provides a more focused, respectful, and less adversarial path forward.

As Board Certified Specialists in Family Law and Certified Family Financial Mediators, we provide not only dispute resolution, but also clarity, structure, and an environment that honors the emotional weight of this transition. We offer these materials to help you understand the mediation process from both a practical and human perspective. If you have additional questions, we encourage you to speak with your attorney or reach out to us for more information.

Key Takeaways

• Family law mediation follows a structured process from prep to agreement, led by a neutral facilitator.
• The mediator guides communication and settlement negotiation, but does not make decisions.
• Sessions may be joint or separate and always remain confidential.
• Mediation allows clients to shape outcomes that are both practical and enforceable.